My Wishes For You For 2014

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Star light, star bright….
Photo by nuttakit at

I am not one to make New Years resolutions or long lists of goals. To be perfectly honest, the whole New Year thing has never been on the top of my list. It was always just another day to me.

But something is different this year. I feel like giving New Years wishes to everyone. It’s been a very rough 2013 for me and I’m sure for most people these days. I see such misery and pain in the eyes of strangers in the grocery store. Everyone seems to be dealing with some sort of grief or worry or depression. It breaks my heart.

So my wishes for all of you for the New Year are as follows:

I wish for you true peace of mind.

I wish for you to have your problems resolved or at least relieved to some degree.

I wish for you to feel loved.

I wish for you to have something really inspiring and terrific happen to you.

I wish for you not to feel alone.

I wish for you to know that even if you don’t think there is a soul in this world who cares about you, you are wrong. I care about you. I truly do.

The list could go on, but my  main wish is that you never give up hope. Things will get better. There are so many of us who feel alone and even desperate about ourselves and our emotions. That’s one of the reasons I started this blog…because I wanted to reach out to others who felt alone with their lives and scared and depressed. I want to try to unite all of us so we can know that we are not alone, and hopefully help each other on some level.

Please leave a comment and let me know how you feel. It would mean the world to me. Happy New Year…it will be okay.


Why Is It So Hard To Be Good To Ourselves?

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Photo by Master isolated images at

I have always taken care of people. Even as a child, I was the little mother, who took care. It wasn’t that I was raised that way or made to take care for anyone, I just was that way. I took after my  mom,  who was the same way.  As I got older, I took care of my friends and in later years, I was a caregiver to both of my parents. When my dad had cancer, I took care of him because my mom was too frail and I didn’t want her to have to do too much. When my mom became ill and developed dementia, I took care of her and both of them died at home, which I was always grateful for. I could take care of them until their last moments.

The day my mom passed away, the Hospice nurse (they are angels on earth!) told me, “You’ve taken excellent care of your mother and now it’s time to take care of yourself.” Well, this didn’t happen. About six months after this, my best friend got a divorce and felt desperate and alone. To make a long story short, she moved to where I am and had some mental problems. I ended up taking care of her. She and my brother got together and he unexpectedly passed away seven months ago, leaving me with no more family at all. Her daughter took her back to live in another state. She passed away a couple of months ago, again unexpectedly. All of this was a life altering shock and left me deep in despair and anxiety.

Now I am desperately trying to recover and I know that I have to take care of myself. I’m used to taking care of people…so why is it so hard to do it for myself? I realized the other day that I am not as good to myself, not as forgiving, caring, or gentle as I am with other people. Does this sound familiar to you? Are you, too, one of those who can’t seem to take care of yourself as well as you do others?  Why is it so hard to be good to ourselves?

Why are we so hard on our poor souls? I know I am very critical of  myself and I’ll bet you are too. I can’t give myself the same hope I gave to  others. I try, but too often I end up feeling more hopeless and trying to fight the negative thoughts in my head…all the “what ifs” and  “what am I going to dos.” I think there is an element of feeling selfish to think only about myself. Then I remember that I’m all alone now and so it’s ok to think about just me for a change. I have to to survive. But it is turning out to be a long, hard lesson to learn. Sometimes I think I don’t care as much about myself as I do others. I keep reading that you have to love yourself. Why is it so hard to do?

If you feel the same way, please leave me a comment. It helps to know you’re not the only one who has a problem and it  is my deepest hope that anyone reading my blog feels less alone.

Take good care of yourself…you have my permission. Love yourself as much as you love others.


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