When You Don’t Belong To Anyone Anymore

Love yourself. Photo by podpad at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Love yourself.
Photo by podpad at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I was reading something the other day and it mentioned “the family you belong to” and seeing those words hit me like a brick. If you’ve been reading my blog, you k now I have lost all of my immediate family in the last eight years and have been feeling totally alone. The few relatives I  have left are very far away and we have never been very close anyway.

Seeing those words reminded me painfully that I didn’t belong to anyone anymore. I’m twice divorced, never had children and have very few close friends. The ones I do have live elsewhere (something common when you’re dad was in the Air Force). So, I’m basically alone.

Which brings me back to not belonging to anyone. I just never thought about it that way until I saw those words. It brought a whole new wave of grief that I really didn’t need. After crying myself silly, I thought about it in a less emotional way…something not easy for me, but a habit I’m trying to develop.

What I realized is two things.

One, I would always belong to my family, even though they aren’t here anymore. I believe their spirits are still   around and so they are “here” even if I can’t see them. So I do still belong to my family.

Two, I belong to one other person and that person is me. I belong to myself, now more than ever.

So, when we don’t feel like we belong to anyone anymore, it’s not true. We do still belong, if only to oursleves…and that’s something. They say that ultimately you can only count on yourself and as upsetting as that may be (it was for me) it can be reassuring too. If we can treat ourselves well, with compassion and kindness, then that’s one of the best companions you can have. We need to feel that we have our own backs.

I’m not saying this is easy. Even though I’ve been contemplating all of this for days, it is still not feeling totally comforting, but I’m working on it. Would I rather have others I belong to? YES! But I’m trying to look at this in a more positive frame of mind and the thought that I belonged to me is somehow a soothing balm.

If you’re feeling this way, be kind and loving to yourself. You belong to you and you deserve it. Much love to all of you.

 

 

Your Words Have So Much Power

Does someone need your help?  Your words can do it! Photo from www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Does someone need your help?
Your words can do it!
Photo from www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If you have read my posts here, you know I’m going through grief, anxiety and feeling alone. What I wanted to talk about today is the power words have. We’ve all heard this and know it, but do we always think about it?

I have a friend who is helping me somewhat, but he has no idea how his words hurt me so many times. He does not understand my anxiety disorder and constantly puts pressure on me to do things differently. That’s the last thing we need when we are anxious and fighting to get through every day. I try to tell him this and then he gets mad and that makes it worse.

Going through what I am, it has made me more conscious of my own choice of words to people. I have always been empathetic and tried to be comforting to people having a problem, but I am even more so now. I realize that, for me, sometimes just the right words can make all the difference in my day. So I hope that I can make the difference in someone else’s day too. That would mean the world to me.

There are several sites I visit every day for inspiration and comfort (and I will list them below). The things I read there are the things I need to hear. Unfortunately, I don’t have anyone in my life to say them to me, so I have to read them instead…but it helps. I am not trying to sound pathetic (although I think I am some days!) but just stating the raw truth of my life.

Remember how powerful your words are. Use them wisely and kindly. You never know how much you might help someone with just what you say. It could change their life, make them feel loved when they need it the most, help them gain courage, ease their pain, help in so many ways you will maybe never even know about.

My words to you today are:

Things will be ok. You will be ok. Just have faith in that and know that you are not alone.

Here are some of the sites I love:

www.bravegirlsclub.com

www.kristinnoelle.com

www.owningpink.com

These are just a few, but check them out and please come back to visit me here. Until next time, be gentle with yourself and others.

 

 

 

 

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