Anyone who has read my blog knows I suffer from an anxiety/panic disorder and have depression from too many deaths in too short a time. I only repeat it in case this is the first post you’re reading, so you’ll know where I’m coming from.
I work extremely hard ever day to deal with my anxiety and I have really relied on positive affirmations, which are a huge topic right now! Everything you read tells you to be optimistic and post positive quotes everywhere, which I have done. And I truly do believe they help.
Having said that, I also have days when I just want to scream and cry and cuss out the higher powers. Telling myself “things aren’t as bad as they seem” just doesn’t cut it. I know you must have those days too. Those horrible times when you are so tired and emotionally worn out, from whatever ordeal you’ve been dealing with, that you just can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.
I finally realized that to stay positive every single moment of every day is impossible and just causes more stress and anxiety sometimes. I become afraid (anxiety’s fuel) that if I felt crappy and didn’t fight it off, I’d just spiral down into a panic attack. Sometimes I know I have to reassure myself to get through, but I have discovered that sometimes I just have to let myself sink into my “crappiness.” Just let go and know it’s okay that I’m feeling this way.
“How you feel now is totally natural in the circumstances, so stop struggling with yourself and leave it be.”
I read this somewhere (I wish I knew who to credit for it, but I don’t remember) and it helped a lot. We are feeling bad things because bad things have happened to us, so it is normal to feel bad. So simple, yet something we tend to fight off. It is like the process of grieving. You have to feel everything to get past it. You can’t deny or block your feelings. I think this is true of anything traumatic we are going through.
So, I now give myself permission to feel crappy and let it be. Not all the time, because I have to change my thinking to change my anxiety, but once in awhile, when it’s really tough, I let go and try not to fear the bad feelings. If you are suffering, try this out and let me know how it works for you. Just let yourself be free of guilt or shame when you give into the bad feelings. As the quote above says, “leave it be.”
Much love and peace of mind to all of you.