Someone asked me the other day, after learning of the recent deaths I’d had in my family, if I was lonely and I said, “Of course, every day.”
They then told me I should get out more or join a group of some kind to meet more people. I could only stare at them and mentally shake my head in disgust.
I’m lonely…for the people I have lost. For my mom , dad, brother, dear friends, many fur babies…and no one else can fill their shoes. I can’t go out and meet new people and feel less lonely.
No one else will do. No one else can give me that special relationship I had with them and no one ever will. That’s not to say that new friendships can’t add something to your life, but they will never give you the same level of meaning the others did.
I have to admit this may have something to do with age to some degree. Being older, it is harder to develop the kind of friendships that have been through years together. You simply don’t have that kind of time left to do that. If you’re younger, you have more of a chance of making and keeping a lifelong friend.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to have social contact with anyone, although sometimes we go through periods where being alone can be beneficial. A time to think and come to terms with things. But trying to be around people just for the sake of not feeling lonely rarely works. If it does for you, that’s terrific. Personally, I haven’t found this true for me.
I have a few friends and interact with people in stores and on the Internet, but I know for me, that certain level of loneliness will always be there…the one that wants back the ones I loved. But that’s ok. I think it’s perfectly normal to feel that way and acknowledging it makes me understand and accept it more.
Make new social connections but don’t be depressed if you still feel lonely…it’s natural, because no one else will do, and that’s just love in it’s deepest form.